As a Royal Navy submariner veteran and a member and volunteer with Veterans Outreach Support’ (VOS), Peter Vallender,who is originally from Leicester in the Midlands, served in the Royal Navy for more than 25 years, from 1974 to 2000, eventually reaching the rank of Chief Petty Officer (CPO).
After briefly serving aboard a Royal Navy ship – an experience he did not enjoy – Peter was fortunate to be drafted to the submarines service. During his career, he served aboard four diesel-powered submarines and two nuclear submarines. He particularly valued the strong camaraderie and ‘esprit de corps’ among submariners, which made his time serving beneath the waves so memorable.
Years after leaving the Royal Navy, Peter began facing challenges familiar to many veterans. He was struggling with his mental health in silence, but through word of mouth he heard about VOS. In 2018, encouraged by a friend, he attended a VOS Portsmouth drop-in session at the Royal Maritime Hotel in Portsea.
Peter tells us what happened:
“I was encouraged to visit a VOS Drop-in by a friend – I have quite a few military friends / navy friends who told me about VOS – and I’d never heard of them. They knew I wasn’t doing particularly well with my mental health, and they said ‘why don’t you try VOS’. It took me a while to decide to go, like most men they are reluctant to do these sorts of things, but eventually I turned up on a Wednesday afternoon to the Drop-In. First of all, I found it to be quite welcoming, with friendly people. I was seen quickly and managed to talk to one of the clinical team that afternoon. The experience was very professional and helpful. After seeing the clinical team, I was triaged, and they explained that they’d be in contact with me to see one of their psychologists. Within a week, I had an appointment with the psychologist. I was with him for a long time, around three hours in total and he then referred me for a six-week Cognitive Behavioural Therapy course.
“For me, I hadn’t been able to speak, so to be able to talk to somebody… I had a lot on my mind – so someone helping me and guiding me along the way put me in a lot better place. It was all about being able to talk. “
Peter explains how he became a VOS Volunteer:
“In my very last session of CBT, I spoke to the clinical therapist and said I’d like to be able to, if possible, become a volunteer to pay back in a way that VOS had looked after me! After that session, she took me down to fill out the forms and continue the process of joining the team.
“I have been a volunteer for about 6 years now, and I think the most important thing for me is to help people in a similar mindset to myself, or just help people along to signpost them, provide some sort of social background for them – help in whichever way possible and when you do that, it’s a good thing, isn’t it.”
One of Peter‘s standout moments as a volunteer:
“One standout moment for me as a volunteer, was when someone came in extremely agitated, very distressed and upset. I spoke to him and at first, he didn’t really want to talk, but I managed to get him to talk, and he said he wanted to see somebody if he could. That afternoon, he managed to see somebody and thanked me and thanked VOS for the guidance he’d needed, but didn’t really want – if you see what I mean.
“That is a difficulty for people when they come along, it is that first step – I was the same. It’s one of those moments when you know you have helped somebody, and you know that VOS has helped somebody – they leave with a smile on their face and you know it’s a job well done!”
Peter‘s advice to anyone who might be struggling …
“I’d say to anyone struggling – why don’t you come along and meet a lot of like-minded people who have been through something possibly similar to you; nothing is ever exactly the same but come along and have a talk – see how you feel and take it from there.
As a volunteer, I enjoy just being there and helping people. The VOS team is a very friendly team, you can feel that when you are working with them as a volunteer, but I think it also shows on the people that they are helping, for whatever reason it might be – with mental health, wellbeing signposting off to somewhere – it is a very satisfying and rewarding experience for me. “
Image above: Peter Vallender at the Royal Maritime Hotel, home to VOS headquarters.
Photos below:
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Peter Vallender (Standing in Queens Rd, Portsmouth diagonally opposite VOS’s headquarters at The Royal Maritime Hotel.
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Peter Vallender (In Royal Navy Submariner uniform during his service)
If you’re a veteran from the UK Armed Forces or a qualifying former member of the *Merchant Navy* (from any time of service) or a partner / carer to one, we are here to offer our support: call us on 02392 731 767, visit a drop-in, or email wellbeing@vosuk.org or admin@vosuk.org
