Nigel Turner is a retired Royal Navy veteran and Veterans Outreach Support’ (VOS) service user who grew up in Rugby near Coventry where most of his friends went into local industry, but he wanted something different. After visiting the Navy Recruiting Office in Coventry and getting his parents’ consent, he completed the medical and paperwork and joined HMS Raleigh for basic training on in August 1970, aged 16.
After six weeks of training, he went to HMS Pembroke in Chatham for 10 weeks of cookery school, then served at HMS Collingwood for a year. Just after turning 18, he joined his first ship, HMS Fife, serving 18 months before transferring to HMS Beagle – an inshore survey vessel. There he took on wider duties beyond cooking, including watchkeeping and assisting with survey operations, which gave him a broader understanding of naval life.
In 1980, he joined HMS Hermes while it was being refitted in Scotland. Initially working in the main galley, Nigel later served in the wardroom and then the captain’s galley, cooking for Captain Middleton.
The Falklands War In 1982 Nigel was working as a cook for Captain Middleton on the HMS Hermes when the Falklands war broke out. The crew were recalled from leave to prepare the ship for deployment, working tirelessly to store supplies before sailing south.
Reality set in when the ARA General Belgrano was sunk; the initial cheers quickly turned to a sobering thought: “That could be us in the water.”
Things got much worse when the HMS Sheffield was hit. Survivors were brought to the HMS Hermes and Nigel remembers the haunting smell and the sight of badly burnt men lying quietly on camp beds in the “2S flat” area, just outside the galley.
On May 25th, their ship narrowly avoided a missile strike.
“I was about to make a brew when the “incoming” alarm went off. Me and a mate dove onto the deck, listening to the engines roar as the ship turned and fired “chaff” to distract the missile.”
The missile missed the HMS Hermes but hit the SS Atlantic Conveyor nearby – me and my fellow cook, Mark Say, dived onto the deck … a moment of intense relief mixed with the horror of knowing friends on other ships had been killed.
Flashbacks and nightmares!
After the conflict ended Nigel continued in the Royal Navy where he was “top of his game” as a Petty Officer in Yeovil. After a successful weekend managing high-profile events, he sat down on a Sunday evening and his “head exploded.” He was hit with a massive panic attack and vivid flashes of the war – burnt bodies and fire.
When he sought help at the base, he was told he didn’t have an appointment – in desperation he snapped – physically pulling the medic through the hatch and was finally seen. However, the Navy’s response at the time was poor: he was given Diazepam and sent to “Z Ward” (the psychiatric ward) for relaxation classes that felt “like a total waste of time.” He felt paranoid and ashamed, worried he’d “thrown everything away.”
Hitting rock bottom
Despite the internal struggle, he went back to the fleet and worked his socks off, even winning a prize on the HMS Invincible for boosting morale. He eventually left the Navy in 1993 to protect his wife from any more stress. He stayed employed in civilian life, but it took until 2010 – nearly 30 years after the war before he finally went to his GP to truly address the trauma.
The GP was pretty dismissive (only gave him 10 minutes), but eventually, he got a diagnosis of PTSD and depression. Sadly, the help stopped there. He spent five years in limbo with no follow-up, hitting rock bottom by Christmas 2014. He was physically ill, suicidal, and only getting through it thanks to his wife’s care.
Fate intervenes
A stroke of fate In February 2015 changed the course of his life. Nigel was walking down the street and literally bumped into Reverend Devonshire, who had been the chaplain on his ship (the HMS Hermes) during the Falklands.
“Back then they held “said Mass” services in the Chaplains cabin because the ships Chapel was not used as below the waterline (risk of torpedo attack). These services were a great comfort to me and others.”
He spoke to the Reverend and just let everything out. It turned out the Reverend was the chaplain at Veterans Outreach Support (VOS) and told him to come to the Portsmouth Drop-In Day the following Wednesday.
Lifesaving Help
Nigel walked into VOS at one of the Drop-In days in Portsmouth and he couldn’t believe the speed of getting the support he needed – on the same day the VOS Clinical team triaged him and he found himself sitting down our VOS’s (now retired) psychiatrist (Morgan O’Connell) on the same day! Given the fact the clinician had served in the Falklands himself, Nigel felt this was someone who understood him! He was triaged and started therapy session with one of VOS’s counsellors – at first, he felt hesitant and “untrusting,” but the counsellors’ gentle approach worked well and around the 8th session, he experienced a true breakthrough – the seeds had finally been sown to beat the nightmares!
“The nightmares were very debilitating and hand on heart, I would say that this support saved my life and was a way out for me!”
After years of getting nowhere with the usual doctors, VOS gave him his life back. He truly believes that chance meeting on the street was meant to be.
“The timing was perfect, it was. Helen, my counsellor at VOS was patient and kind and gave me the coping mechanisms to manage things – it has been hard for my wife as well – my wife was also so pleased with the help I received at VOS. My girls also certainly notice the difference – I am not so moody or so snappy anymore. This help put my life back on track.”
He had a couple of small relapses and had to call VOS for follow-up sessions – over the COVID period, he had a couple of session with his former counsellor (Helen) and after this ended becoming a volunteer for VOS.
“I used to come to the monthly meeting and have a cuppa and a chat – and after a while I was asked if I’d like to volunteer. I enjoyed it so much and had empathy and could set people in the right direction to get the right help – so enjoyed volunteering.
” On a Drop-In Day, when I was volunteering and I still say it to people now – yes VOS is a one-stop shop and more. When I bring people from the Vets Lounge to the Ballroom and I say ‘Look all this is here for you and you can come back as many times as you like’ – they are amazed and taken aback because they didn’t realise what help is available to them and their families.”
Nigel volunteered for VOS until for 9 years and stepped down 2 years ago – feeling he needed a complete break.
Nigel concluded:
“I felt my own mental health and PTSD bubbling up so I needed a complete break. The dreams started to come back along with violent outbursts in my sleep –my wife was at the brunt of me lashing out. She’d always tell me in the morning – you have had a bad night. My coping mechanisms were not working – that is why I came to ask for help again from VOS.
“Ten years later I am back at VOS. VOS has been here for me all that time and again walking through the door I was distraught and again, cared for looked after in a safe space. The sessions I had with Andy Millard (Occupational Therapist) was very helpful – particularly helped me in being able to talk about my anger – which used to drive me mad. He got me grounded and after two weeks talking to Sharon Wemyss (Head of Care) I was triaged to PTSD Resolution.
“I would say hand on heart – VOS is a marvellous organisation. The support I have received has been a lifesaver for me and my family. If anybody is feeling they cannot cope with what is going on in their mind and soul – then talk to somebody. If you cannot talk to your partner – talk to a friend. Ultimately pick up the phone or walk through the door. Come to VOS – they will always get back to you. VOS is always there for you!”
Image above: Nigel Turner at the Royal Maritime Hotel, home to VOS headquarters.
Photos below:
Captains Staff 1982 – Nigel Turner – 3rd LHS Top Row. (Ascension Island on way home from Falklands July 1982.)
Nigel Turner (LHS), Captain Middleton CO HMS Hermes (RHS) – taken in lounge of the Govenors House, Stanley, Falkland Islands (3rd July, 1982). Presentation of cake and cheque to the Falkland Islanders
